Filial Piety

I find that one of the best parts of being in a Chinese families is the values that are taught to the children. At a young age, children are taught to be respectful to their elders. Elders are what brought them into the world. With this, when children grow up, they are expected to take care of their parents or send money to their parents.

Since I grew up in an American society, I wouldn’t be surprised if I hear people remarking, “Why? Why should I have to send money to my parents? They have retirement funds!” But to me, I find that a bit rude. Parents had poured their efforts and money for years into raising a child. Sending back a little money is only a fraction of the cost that raising a child takes, so a person should at least be grateful enough to send that money, or so I think with the values I was taught in mind.

However, respecting elders also creates a tight family bond. Chinese elders usually do not live by themselves, but they live with other family (a family of their daughter’s or son’s). I believe that this is so much better than putting the parent into an old people’s home. I feel sad when I hear people placing their parents into such homes, because I wonder how the person cannot miss the parent. Even though the parent may be old and decrepit, there was once a time in which the person had imagined her or his parent as the strongest person in the world. The Superman of all Supermans. By placing the elderly people into homes, this only marks them as useless, but they are not useless. Elderly people have so much knowledge! They can still watch as their grandchildren grow or even their great-grandchildren grow. It isn’t like once they are old, they become inhuman. So, the Chinese values of having the elderly being at such a high status allows the old to share their knowledge to the young for a much longer time.

For example, my two grandparents on my father’s side are both nearing 92 (perhaps they are older already, but I just remembered incorrectly). However, they aren’t alone at all. They have seven children who all live relatively close by, and my grandparents live with one of the seven children’s family. There’s always children to take care of because even though the grandchildren have grown up, there are now great-grandchildren that my grandparents can look after. The great-grandchildren still love it when their great-grandmother tickles their toes or plays hide-and-seek with them. And my great-grandmother also has a great time teasing these little toddlers.

The elderly can still do so much more. I believe when I have my own family, I will definitely invite my parents to live with me. They can be a babysitter for my children when I want to go out. I don’t have to spend extra money on hiring other teenage babysitters who won’t do half as good a job as my own parents.