I know I have arachnophobia and I know that there is no rational reason why I am afraid of these harmless critters. I’ve read Charlotte’s Web and I enjoyed it, even though the main character was a spider. Yet, I still feel a sense of panic when I see the eight-legged black and sometimes hairy creature resting on a wall. I even grow fearful if I see a picture of a spider (in biology books, I usually turn those pages very fast or put another book over the picture of the spider). My heart starts to beat fast, especially if the spider’s legs are thick or long. When I have to kill one of these pests, I may even start to sweat in anticipation of having my hand near the spider.
Just yesterday, when I was about to go to sleep, I saw a spider near my bed. It was a small one, so I was not as scared. And since I was going to sleep pretty late, no one else in my house was awake. So, I knew I had to kill it by myself. However, when I drew close to the spider with a folded napkin, I could feel myself grow nervous. In the end, I placed the napkin behind a book and slammed the napkin/book on the spider in a very swift motion. I had to crinkle the napkin together without looking to confirm if I had indeed killed the spider and throw it into the garbage. However, in the process of slamming the book, I managed to cut my hand.
I wish I was not so afraid of spiders. My parents and sister have both reasoned with me that there is no point in being afraid of such small creatures, yet I still grow nervous. My dad commented that if I was placed in a shack full of spiders, I would get over my fear in a day or two. I’m not so sure about that; just imagining such a situation makes me cringe. But, I would like to reduce my fear. It seems that growing older has only increased my alertness to spiders and heightened my fear. Does anyone have any suggestions about getting rid of the fear? I just tried to Google arachnophobia, but I was turned off by the pictures of spiders on the screen that popped up.
It’s a new year and a new decade. This year flew by once again, even faster than the previous. I feel so much older as each year whips by; time only speeds up. But as I reflect on last year and even the entire last decade, I realize I have come a long way. I have changed a lot. Thus, I am excited to see what this new decade will bring.
I can still remember when the minute ticker turned to 12 in the year 2000. There was the giant Y2k scare that had people stocking up on food and water due to the fear that a computer bug would render systems broken and cause the worldwide economy to dive. The governments thankfully worked on the computer systems and rectified these problems before the clock hit12, so the scare never materialized.
This decade, we have the 2012 scare that the world is going to end. I guess this decade will trump the previous in terms of fear, but hopefully this fear will never materialize either. I would be quite disappointed to realize that only a few months after I graduate from college, I would not be able to do anything.
But I am still excited to think of where I will be by 2020. I will have finished college, medical school, and residency, and hopefully have a permanent job some where. I may even have started my own family! Currently, it is inconceivable to think that in only ten years, so much will change in my life, but as I said, time only speeds up and increasingly allows all the events to jumble together. Nevertheless, I am excited to see the changes in society, including technology, in a decade.
Reflecting on the past decade, I know that I have changed tremendously. I had finished elementary school, middle school, and high school. I have learned to become more outgoing and I have realized how much I can push myself when I really want something. I embraced the blooming of the Internet and grow both more surprised and accepting as the Internet changes faster each year. To think, only five years ago, having a blog was new and novel. High contrast website designs that irritated the eyes were also the “in” thing. Ten years ago, we either did not have Internet or were on the slowest form of dial-up. I remember the fond days of waiting two minutes for a webpage to load; I never understood at that time what was so good about the Internet. I would always wonder how my dad had the patience to sit in front of the computer to read a news article instead of having fun by doing something active. I think we all know why now.
As years go by, we will only learn more and see even greater changes. Flying cars? Maybe it will occur this decade.
I don’t know if resolutions are a good thing for me. I have never been able to follow anything that I write down, from schedules to goals to these resolutions. I do have certain priorities and I reach for them, but I never give these lists a second glance. I hope this year will be different, since I would like to accomplish the resolutions I have set out.
- Get straight As next semester and next fall semester (this is not only a goal, but it’s needed; I have messed up the previous few semesters)
- Aim for a 42, but get at least a 38 on the MCATs. So, study hard!
- Cut down on movie watching. One movie per week is enough.
- Cut down on television watching: only follow Grey’s Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, and sometimes Glee. Three hours should be plenty.
- Lose 10 pounds and gain more muscle. My face has become rounder since the beginning of this school year; I am falling prey to the freshman 15, even though I am no longer a freshman.
- Eat healthier; do not gorge on unhealthy foods in the dining hall. Eat more greens and veggies. Cut down to eating just one junk-type food per day.
- Exercise! Do at least 50 sit-ups per day.
- Participate in Project 365 and actually finish it. I tried earlier this year and failed miserably–took a few photos the first three days and then drifted off. Only the first three days!
- Revive my blog: post something interesting at least every other day and improve how I write. Instead of going with my stream of consciousness, refine my writing so that I would be proud that it reflects me.
- Make new friends. Friends reflect who you are, and I am easily influenced by people. Although my current friends are already great, I would like to branch out and make more friends from other fields.
Ten resolutions for the year 2010. I wonder if I will be able to fulfill them. I hope so, since they do not seem to be that much. So, tonight, I will get a good night’s sleep after all the festivities and I hope tomorrow will be a bright new day for me: a new day to start these new resolutions.
My roommate introduced me to Ebay. I had of course known about the auctioning website years ago, but I was always wary of using the website since I thought that there would be a lot of liars and scammers on the website who would take your money and then give you a used up item. Plus, I didn’t think people actually sold new items; I dislike using other people’s used items unless I know who it belonged to before.
Since learning that Ebay users sell a lot of new items online, I have bought a few items. In preparation for the winter (which is freezing here), I have bought scarves, clothes, and a pair of moccasins. Of course, I made sure that they were brands that I trusted, instead of being a bootlegged brand from China. There are so many sellers from Hong Kong that offer a lot of items cheaply, but they are not the genuine item. It might not matter that much if it’s a scarf because how much better can a scarf get? I’m fine with buying a slightly lower quality scarf for $5 than spending $50 on a brand name, but I’m not so fine in buying bootlegged make-up items. Those items are going on my skin, so I am vary wary of the auctions from China in those sectors.
I also bought a few bootlegged earphones. Although the quality is definitely lacking, it does its job and for $0.50, I can’t really complain.
The next thing I want to buy is a hat. I should have bought a hat last year, but I neglected to. Now, the weather has turned very cold and I am without something to protect my ears. As my roommate says, “That is the ultimate form of procrastination.” Failing to buy an item even though I need it.
I finished taking my organic chem final today! It was not that bad, but I seriously have no clue how I did. I need to have a 75% or better on this test to get an A (yes, I have been doing that badly in class). I studied the most I have ever in my life. I have never studied this much for a test before: four days of non-stop studying. I would stay in my room and study or go to the library and study. Time really flies by when you are studying, especially with the feeling of panic to fuel you.
I did realize, after I studied, that I did not really understand what I was doing in class before. So, I guess the four days of intense studying really paid off. I could compartmentalize the reagents and reactions we were supposed to know so much better after I understood what was actually going on. Before, I had just hard-coded all the reactions into my brain, so it was really easy to forget something.
Well, now it’s time to study for neurobio.
My PS2 grade is also up now, but I missed checking it. The average on the final was a 65…. I have no idea how I did. I skipped questions and was confused on a lot of the other questions. I am screwed for that class, but I can’t do anything about it now.
